Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Heads or tails optical betrayal

I have this Dance Dance Revolution metal dance pad that leans against the wall where I workout.  I'm able to see from the gut down as I work out.  The metal is of course somewhat warped and therefore the image that is reflected to me is just as warped.  My right leg is reality and my left leg is reflected as a "normal" leg.  I tend to look at the left side and use it as incentive to keep going that one day my legs will actually look that way.

Problem is, I don't know if it's that reflection I look at every time I work out or the fact the only 'real' mirror we have in the house is from the bust up in the bathroom but I have a serious body distortion problem right now.  It's like I see the changes that are undeniably happening like that vertical line in my shins where the fat is thinning out.  We'll call this the "heads" side since I'm referring to the front.  Then I get this idea like maybe they're looking normal and I do something stupid like wear capris in public for the first time at home (I wear them on vacay or to work out) and I'll then catch a side/rear ("tails") view of my legs, recoil in horror and want to run to the nearest store to buy jeans to cover up.  Or I'll discover those "shoulder caps" or biceps starting to peek out and I start to see my body as shapely but then I'll punch and the arm fat/flab will smack or keep waving 5 minutes after I've stopped and I realize that the tails side of me has not caught up to the heads side.  I shudder to think what I look like from behind.

The thing is, if I'm seeing myself as thinner than I am and then being knocked down a peg emotionally when these optical illusions of my eyes playing tricks on me is happening now.  What will I be in for when I finally AM at goal weight?  Will I see myself as fat even though I'm fit?  I don't like the optical betrayal that is going on here and I'm just afraid this will be my life...never being able to see the hard work through my own eyes.

Can anyone relate?  What body distortion issues have you encountered?

====================
Like this post? Don't miss another one...subscribe via email or RSS feed. (Because you're cool like that!)

51 comments:

  1. Sometimes I feel like I am thinner than I am and then like you I catch a glimpse or see a photo and it messes with my head. I also wonder what I will look like when I am near a goal weight. It is hard to even have a goal weight because I am really more concerned with just being at a place I feel good and I don't even know what number that is. To be honest I never feel good about my appearance really, ever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hear ya. I saw some show where this girl was talking about how "out of shape" she was and she was a size 4. I said "if SHE has a problem being naked, there's no hope for me!" Sigh.

      Delete
    2. I know it's not nice of me, but when I hear someone who is a normal weight complain about how "fat" they are, I just want to tell them to shut up. I realize that if they are not happy with their body that it's a sucky feeling, but there is a huge difference in someone who is morbidly obese NEEDING to lose weight than in someone who wants to just tone up a little.

      Delete
  2. UGGG. The BDD. When I was at my peak weight, I had no idea what I actually looked like...until I would see a picture - and then I would want to die. Now that I'm 45 lbs down and working out a lot, I think I'm skinny sometimes. I'm not. Eff it! This is a tricky situation.
    I was watching an episode of, Say Yes to the Dress. A woman had lost a significant amount of weight and looked fantastic. She kept crying because she looked "fat" in the dresses. I don't want that for my future. I think it's an inside job. Working on self-esteem. Doing esteemable acts, etc.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isn't that the worst!? I remember a pic I took with a friend of mine on a night I thought I looked really cute (toward my highest weight) and then I saw it and I started crying. I looked frumpy, tired and uncomfortable. She's a tiny little thing too and I looked like I engulfed her. I think for me, I need to work on my muscles because there is no better sign of hard work than when you have some curves of the "right" kind. :)

      Delete
    2. I saw that episode and it was so sad! That girl looked fantastic and she just could not see it.

      Delete
    3. I have been overweight for as long as I can remember weighing in at 266 lbs at my peak. After a 4 year journey and a 101 lbs weight loss, to everyone else I looked fantastic. To me; I still cried and cried as I saw a fat girl in the mirror who still couldnt find anything nice to wear. My sisters told me I was too skinny too be that unhappy.

      My weight has crept up again to 195 lbs in the past 18 months. Not only am I upset at the gain and damage to my weight loss goals, but now I wish I was the skinny girl crying at the mirror.

      My journey to a healthy body AND a healthy body image continues...

      Delete
  3. I admit I was feeling pretty thin going into our Hawaii trip but reality really set in. If just seeing myself try on tight swim shirts wasn't enough, plenty of people had their way of reminding me that I was still a big guy and I think as much as I hated it, I needed to go through it so that I can be honest with myself now. I still have a lot of work to do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ugh, that trip was a complete self esteem crusher. I have never felt so fat in my life despite us being the thinnest we've ever been in Hawaii. There were some pretty crappy reminders we have a long way to go.

      Delete
  4. I happily (and perhaps naively) assume that people don't scrutinize me any more than I scrutinize them. Yes, if I see someone in public (doesn't matter what size) who is wearing clothes that really shouldn't be seen in public, then yes, I scrutinize. (Anything with too much flesh hanging out qualifies.) I have a hunch that you don't wear midriff tops and spandex pants to go out shopping. Amazingly, some people do!!

    Our self-sabotage and negative thinking about ourselves depletes all the good energy that comes from making good life-choices.

    Walk out the door as the beautiful woman you are!! (Yes, I'm on a positive-attitude roll these days, it's nice!)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh, and another thing . . . . .

    I take photos of myself on the computer so I definitely see what everyone else is seeing. Sometimes I'll change my outfit as a result but then I don't give it another thought.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I want to think that way (about the scrutiny) but I've heard people talk about other people out in public and well, it's just better to "be naive." ;) I see far too many people wearing things that no one should wear at any size. I don't think in this case it's a self esteem thing entirely. It's thinking I look one way, feeling good and believing it and then having a reality from behind kind of slap me upside the head. After all, I still have over 100 lbs to go and when you've already lost 200 it's like "ugh...REALLY!? Shouldn't I look a lot different by now?"

      Delete
  6. I tend to over-think ALL my clothing choices. I'm sure nobody else even notices, but I analyze and re-analyze every outfit. I see things differently in every mirror in our house. Basicly, I'm bat-sh*t crazy. Although the lowest I've ever gotten was 178-ish, I'm curious about myself to wonder if I'll ever see the person in the mirror that I want to see. I really don't even know what I'm looking for. I think I will always pick myself apart and that worries me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Girl I swear I feel like the designers are out to get us. What happened to short sleeves?? SLEEVES being the operative word. I do not consider 1" of cap sleeve that lets my arm flab dangle out the bottom cute and yet that is all I can find unless I want to buy dude shirts...and I do. I don't want to be hanging out all over all the time thanks. Here's hoping we can both one day be happy with the end result!

      Delete
    2. I buy t-shirts at WalMart for the simple reason that they actually have sleeves that go almost to my elbow, and cover my bat wings. The 170lbs. I'm trying to lose now is a regain from an almost 100 lb loss I never could see. I always saw a fat girl even when I reached a size 6. I see a therapist to work through it because even though the weight on the scale goes down, I never see a difference.

      Delete
  7. Gotta say, I really think your blog is a great thing. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself.

    I've always had a distorted image of myself... since as far back as I can remember. It started as seeing myself as bigger than I was as a pre-teen/teenager. Looking back at pictures, I was just normal, not skinny and not heavy, just normal, but that is NOT how I saw myself.

    My weight is always a work in progress! I'm finally serious about getting my pregnancy weight off (my son is 17). I've been seriously working on it for almost a year and I am down 23 lbs and I am more active than I've been since being pregnant. I'm almost at my pre-pregnancy weight, but that is still about 20 lbs too much, so once I hit pre-pregnancy, I'll evaluate where I'm at.

    May I suggest that you get a full length mirror!? That's just one of those things that help with reality. Seriously... it does and it's not a bad thing at all!

    At my house there is one on the back of the bathroom door (it seems to be a bit slimming), there is one in my bedroom, and one in another bedroom.

    I always look at the outfit I put on, check and double check, before I go out the door. I want to at least have an idea of what I look like to others, how the shirt I have on works the jeans or dress pants...

    Keep up the good work! You should be proud of yourself (and the Mr. should be too).

    Thanks again for sharing so much!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much Laz! We do want to get a full length mirror at some point. When I'm in a dressing room, I take my P&S camera because honestly what I see with my eyes is completely different from what I see in a picture and that's freaky. I've put some things back that I thought were cute then saw a pic and was like "woooah, so wrong!" HA!

      Delete
  8. I've had the distortion problem in both directions...seeing myself in mirrors as skinnier than I was at my top weight, but finally accepting the truth after seeing a picture. Now that I'm 45 pounds lighter than I was in that picture, though, it's still the way I see myself in my mind. Talk about confused! I think KikiD is right...it's an inside job.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's definitely an inside job. I'm just afraid the glasses are always going to be colored in one direction or another. How I wish I was one of those people who never had to worry about my weight because the process is physically and mentally exhausting.

      Delete
  9. It does get better, but it doesn't go away completely. This weird in-between phase you guys are in is so frustrating! You've made progress, but you still feel like the rest of the world is judging you. But let's be honest. You're judging them too. We all take a look at someone from time to time and think "she thinks she is pulling that off?"! It's wrong, but we all do it.

    I'm at a healthy weight, but I still have the arm flab slap thing going on. I've worked my a$$ off to get nice biceps and triceps, and they're still covered by loose skin! It's frustrating, but I have learned to deal with it the best I can. I have learned what is most flattering on my body, and I wear that. I have learned what I feel comfortable wearing, and I wear that, everyone else be damned for their opinions. And no, I'm not dressing like a hoochy :)

    It will get better. In the meantime, enjoy your successes and know that while you still have more progress to make, you can wear those capris, because darnit, you worked hard for those legs!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yeah, we all totally do it whether we want to admit it or not. It's an unfortunate side effect of human nature.

      You mean you're not wearing short skirts with your hoo ha or coin slot a mere bend away? ;)

      I don't know, I'm thinking unless it's 100 degrees and I'm forced to be outside is the only time these legs are gonna see daylight for a while. I have to be comfortable in them or else I'll spend all day obsessing over them. :\

      Delete
  10. I used to think I was hot at 300 pounds. I had a hard time facing it I suppose. Even when I was asked to leave a roller coaster in front of thousands of people I did not take responsibility or what I was eating. I will feel great, think I look great and then see a picture, even now, and be dissapointed. My friends have not posted our vacation pix yet but I know they are coming. Some days I feel good, look good and everything matches up, but it is a balancing act for sure. You are not alone. You and the Mr. Have lost sooooooooo much weight, I'm sure it is very frustrating. I remember when I started, I had to lose 40 pounds before people notice! When people see my hubby and I they FREAK out over him ( he has lost 50 pounds in 6 years due to eating better because of acid reflux) who was a big guy (275 and 6`3) and hasn't even been trying. I would think we would BOTH get the kudos like "wow look at you guys" but my weight loss is usually an after thought and I have have 70 and have worked so hard.

    Its a weird game, my friend. We are in with you and thanks for bringing this up....onward.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! It's like I remember days of thinking I looked good, happily posed for pics and then been like "uh, who's that?" Isn't that the truth with dudes!? I think it took like 80-90 lbs before people started noticing. I remember going to Maui in 2008 all proud I was 47 lbs down and I called my mom to tell her we were there and somehow I was able to say how much better it was so far with 47 lbs off and she was like "wow, you lost that much!?" *deflate* LOL She didn't mean anything by it but it was like "oh, I guess I don't look much different do I?" The game is a cruel one. It's a wonder we're not all twitching messes! HA!

      Delete
  11. Amen. I'm having some similar issues with my own eyes. I guess we just have to keep going with the hope that our eyes will get adjusted soon with a good prescription of hard work and discipline that pays off in the end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What I wouldn't give to have the little eye machine at the doctor "is it better with 1 (reality) or 2 (rose colored lenses)?" I would like to just see myself the way others see me...I think. ;)

      Delete
  12. Oh my gosh...where to even begin??? My body image issues have always stemmed from me thinking I look great even when I don't. So pretty much the same thing. I think "I can wear a tank top" and then I see my arm and I'm like WHOA! That thing looks like a friggin' tree trunk...a bouncy flabby tree trunk to boot". It's TOUGH!!!

    I think the main thing to focus on, for me, has been that I'm a work in progress. I can tone the muscles and maybe eventually one day the fat will be gone. But until then, what anyone else thinks really isn't important. The image in my mind, I've decided, is the most important one because it's the one that keeps me strong and confident and moving forward!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ROFL...not laughing at you but I so get where you're coming from. The first time I was "brave" enough to wear cap sleeves, I thought I was pulling it off, had my pic taken in this cute pose and then all I could focus on was my arms.

      I don't care what anyone else thinks about my body, I'd just like to see my body for what it actually is, not the warped picture in either direction that filters into my brain when I'm looking right at myself.

      Delete
  13. Oh, so know that of which you speak. My body image has always been an issue for me, and still very much is. I don't even have a piece of metal to look in only the waist up bathroom mirror so for me it comes when I do my measurements. Reality really sets in when the tape measure barely goes around my hips (which have always been my sticking point...I've always been hippy and hated it). My arm flap is horrible. I love looking at the top of my arm and try to ignore the bottom. I've been working really hard on a shift in thinking from thin to fit. It hasn't been easy, but by trying to focus entirely on being more fit, regardless of what my body decides to do with it, I've been able to stay more focused on the real goal and take set backs like a balky scale in stride. Still, it would be nice if the under arm would quit flapping. In the mean time I'm cussing out my grandmother and great-grandmother (whose arms I've only seen in pictures) for blessing me with flappy under arms.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't you just want to burn the measuring tape sometimes? Well meaning people say "measure yourself if the scale isn't moving!" Uh, I am. It's stuck too...now what Poppy McGee?"

      Don't you love genetics? I saw a pic of my great grandma and realized I sadly have her body type so I get to fight against that as I lose too.

      Delete
  14. Oh my gosh. I feel like this all the time, and I am not really sure how I look. I tried explaining this to my husband, but he doesn't get it. Sometimes I think I look fairly slim, then I see myself in a mirror and think I look HUGE. When we went canoeing the other day, I saw the seats and thought, "OMG there is no way I can fit into that. My butt is way too big." My husband was saying, "You're crazy. You'll have plenty of room." He was right, but I don't know, I sometimes wonder if I'll always see myself like I was. I am only about 5'4.5",so I just say 5'5", so at 325 I was HUGE and rotund. I buy something to wear thinking it looks ok, and later I wonder if I look horrible. It's just so hard to deal with all of this mentally. I have about 40 pounds left to lose, and it seems like now it's getting so much harder. I workout so hard and give all I have and eat around 1500-1700 calories and for the last month I am only down 1.5 pounds. Sometimes I feel like I'll never get there. I'm constantly envious of people who do not have to think of these things. They go out and eat whatever and maintain their weight without trying to figure out how much exercise they need to burn it off. Losing weight is one of the best things that I've done, but it has been hard. I've struggled, and I sometimes feel resentful of people who aren't spending hours a week shopping and prepping food and working out. I don't want to be a skinny person and I don't expect to have a perfect body, but I do just want to feel normal, whatever that means. I feel like a fit person and I know I am, and out of everyone I know, except one person who's a marathoner, I am the fittest and work out the most. I am also the one with the worst body who certainly doesn't look fit and it's kinda depressing to feel rock hard muscles, but they're still covered with flab and skin. I have awesome shoulders now and my forearms look good, but my skin hangs under my upper arms and is all wrinkly like an old person's. Little kids love to ask why my arms look so weird. Anyway, I always wonder if other people who have lost weight think these things. I know when I see people on SP who are around my weight, I always feel like I look so much fatter than them, and I don't know if it's just because I am not tall or that I carry all my weight in the middle or what.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think men do have a harder time getting that feeling because they aren't held to this standard of perfection that women tend to be. We are certainly hardest on ourselves. It stinks to work so hard after losing so much and feel like your efforts are for nothing. (Even though we know they're not)

      If a kid asked "why my arms look so weird" I would be tempted to say something completely inappropriate. I suppose I need to come up with something though because mine aren't gonna be pretty but I will have no problem saying "they're badges of honor baby!"

      Delete
  15. Your blog posts are dead on as to what is going on in my head. The body image thing is so hard to get over. We did not have a full length mirror in our house and I finally begged my husband to put one up. We had both started losing weight and I wanted to see the whole picture. It really helps. It actually helped me in a positive direction to really see the changes I had made. I totally hear ya about the sleeves thing. Cap sleeves don't do it for me either. My arms are in a weird between phase where they are more lumpy than they've ever been-the muscles below are trying to define themselves while the fat on top is stubbornly trying to stay put! You and the Mr. have come so far. Focus on how much you can do now, that you weren't able to do a year ago, or even 6 months ago. I truly believe that while a certain number on the scale is wonderful, being healthy and fit (regardless of the scale number) is ultimately what is important. You continue to make me laugh, feel validated and inspired. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I suppose we'll have to invest in one. I'll just have to keep it somewhere that isn't right in my face because I don't want to start obsessing. I am definitely thankful for what we can do now but for 6 months we've been stuck and we're about 40-50 lbs from being able to do things that have weight limits on them and it's like we're being tortured. Sigh.

      Delete
  16. I know all too well what you're saying. While I know I am shrinking, I obsess over the extra flub, as I like to call it, under my arms, on my legs, and even my neck! When I was heavier I had "firm" fat. Now after losing 115 lbs, everything is loose and wiggly! I do have my days where I can look in the mirror and say "wow, I look great". But when its time to pull out the capris or the tank tops it takes me forever to get over what I see in the mirror and just keep it moving! My husband is constantly getting upset with me when I have my meltdowns due to my extra flub. He doesn't understand why I can't flip it around and think about the positive outcomes. I know it doesn't happen overnight, but sometimes it is a little irritating to work so hard at something and you can still look in the mirror and find flaws. All we can do is stay positive, and keep working at it! I do feel that I personally will always think I am fat even when I reach my goal, but it's something I am willing to work on.
    You and the Mr keep up the fantastic work! You are in inspiration!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mr gets upset with me as well. It's hard when you're so frustrated with your body and it sometimes feels like it's rebelling against you. We just gotta keep chipping away because we know what the alternative is and that sucked. ;)

      Delete
  17. I SO hear you on this one! I think getting our mental image of what we look like to match up with what we really do look like is one of the toughest parts of this process. I'm down to a healthy weight, in size 6 pants, and yet there are days when all I can see in the mirror is the arm flab and soft spots around the middle that are left. I still won't wear short shorts (not this old bod!) or tank tops, and I HATE those stupid cap sleeves (really?). Maybe in my backyard if no one can see me, but not in public!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See now I hear size 6 and would say let it all hang out because you're at goal. I don't mean run around in a bikini at the mall but for someone my size it feels impossible to imagine getting to your size. But it's so true that no matter what your size, there will always be things we don't like or feel like we can improve. Sounds kind of exhausting!

      Delete
  18. Body image is an interesting phenomena, I think... and it's all in our heads... that's the hard part!

    When I graduated highschool and throughout university, at somwhere around 120 lbs, I truly believed I was fat (it's what my mother told me several times a day, every day... and it is what I saw in the mirror). I never wore a bathing suit, or shorts, or sleeveless anything. I loathed what I saw in the mirror, and I avoided them at all costs. Then I treated myself to 8 years of therapy and learned to love myself and my body... I wore sytlish attractive clothes, I danced in front of the full-length mirror naked, and I had a really active social life and took risks because I believed myself to be attractive and worthy of a full, good life... so much so, that when I actually got fat it was without really noticing.

    As it is, if it weren't for pictures, I'd still think I'm pretty cute, if a little heavy... and my husbsand thought so, too... yet I still have around 60 more pounds to lose. It's only after a fifty pound loss that we can both now see just how out of hand my weight had become. And even now, I still don't have any problem dancing in front of the mirror naked. It's the pictures that keep me focussed and realistic. I honestly wish I understood this better.

    I truely don't think you and the Mr. were/are off base in thinking that you look *a lot* different, and that you look really good (the current pictures you post... and from the back look strong and fit and so much smaller than earlier pictures... have you thought of making yourselves a collage so you can see the comparison daily?). Your frame of reference can't be the perceptions/reactions of others who have no idea of the journey you are on.

    I do get the sense of grief and having to deal with the evidence of not having taken care of yourself written all over your body. I have an extensive burn scar on my body (I had a couple of gallons of scalding hot water poured over my leg when a boyfriend threw me into the kitchen stove), and while it's greatly improved, that mark makes me indescribably sad and self-conscious because had I loved myself more then, I would have never been in the position to be hurt that way... yet I have other scars on my body of which I am actually proud because they speak of my character and strength and sense of adventure. I occasionally wonder if my body will ever completely release the little belly that showed up (and stayed) when I was pregnant. I still grieve the loss of that baby, my one and only pregnancy... my belly comforts me and tells me it was real, and I have a right to grieve, even though nobody else respects my loss.

    I don't know... I wonder if perhaps you always will struggle with body image unless and until you can get to a place where you can forgive yourself and lay the past to rest? ...and that doesn't have to wait until you reach your goals. Perhaps if you can start seeing the 'evidence' as a testament not to your past lack of self care, but of your now strength of character and determination?

    All I really know for sure is that it's complicated, complex, and through is the only way out. If anyone can do this, it will be you and the Mr.

    {{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}}

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This isn't a mental thing right now as far as past issues and such. It really is taking a look from the boobs up in the mirror and think I look fine and then catching the side view of my legs and thinking "200 lbs off and your legs STILL look like that!" The mental stuff has been worked on to the degree it can be but the real psychological downfall is coming when the skin stuff becomes more and more prevalent. We are bracing for that time. THAT will make for interesting reading!

      Delete
  19. I've always had a pretty distorted look of myself! When @ my highest weight I never REALLY looked in the mirror and if I did, I never really saw MYSELF it was a distorted look of what I thought I looked like! Then when I got to a stage when I could REALLY look @ myself I obviously got a tremendous shock! Not sure what I am saying here but I feel for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think this is obviously a relatable topic and while it's good to have people who know what you're going through, it's also sad too. I hope we can all get to a place where we can see ourselves without any shading one way or the other.

      Delete
  20. I think this is precisely why slow weight loss, complete with plateaus, are the way to go. It takes a long time for our psyches to catch up with our bodies! And yes, I can relate. I don't think I will ever be able to see myself completely objectively. And that's okay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well I've got the slow part down! ;) I hope the psyche does catch up. It'd be nice to see reality and not a distorted view.

      Delete
  21. It takes a long time for your mind to catch up to your body. I think you're being too hard on yourself and the truth probably lies somewhere between the distorted DDR reflections and what you're seeing in mirrors when you're out. When I was 125 pounds, I still felt like I was overweight and I was sure everywhere we went, people were staring at me. In fact, I think I felt MORE like that at 125 than I did when I was 225. It's hard to overcome a lifetime of thinking this way...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would love to think I'm being too hard on myself but my calves are the circumference of some skinny girl's waists! I've still got 125 lbs to go and it just feels like I should look much different given how much I've lost. Sadly I hear this distortion from women of all sizes. It's kind of exhausting wondering if what you're seeing with your own eyes is REALLY what you look like. Weird!

      Delete
  22. Yes. This. When I was 260 pounds, I thought I looked skinny - and then I saw pictures and couldn't believe I was that big. I'm 156 now and think I look enormous - in pics and in real life. It's just an impossible game to win, I suppose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope not. We all deserve to look in the mirror and finally be content with what is reflected back to us. I wish us all luck in that journey as this post has proven it's not an isolated problem.

      Delete
  23. I have stuff like that that happens all the time. I think I look pretty good, and then I see how fat my calves are still. When I am feeling smaller, I'm stupid and try on my "goal jeans" and when they don't get past my knees, I want to cry. EVERY day my bat wings remind me that I'm still a big fatty by slapping against me as I work out. I'm REALLY hoping that my self image improves, or I'm not sure what getting to gaol will do for me emotionally. I don't know Mrs. I guess we'll just take it as it comes.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I had this issue at first when I first could tell I lost weight in pictures, that I realized in the pictures I looked like what I had thought I had looked like at my highest weight. It was very unsettling because now I believe my head is always ahead/behind the reality.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I'm a "normal" weight now and I hate to tell ya, but I still see the tails. Don't get me wrong - the heads come up much more often, and I see the good stuff the majority of the time, but I don't know if I'll ever leave the psychological baggage behind. I hope I do but at this point it doesn't look like it!

    ReplyDelete
  26. As odd as it sounds, I constantly see myself as smaller than I really am--and that's saying A LOT at over 300lbs!! My mirror in my bathroom leaves me feeling "somewhat" comfortable with how I look in clothes (if not out of them). But it's when I'm at work and I see myself in the reflection in the windows at the office next door that literally will stop me in my tracks. Or walking past windows at a store and you can see yourself reflected. Suddenly my butt seems like it's extended 4 feet beyond my body! I never realized just how big my thighs were until I saw those full length reflections. It hurts every single time I see myself, because what I see at home (which I'm thinking must be the optical illusion) is NOT what I see outside my home. It's really messed with my mind in recent weeks.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for taking the time to comment! I appreciate thoughtful readers like you! If your comment doesn't show up right away, check back in a few minutes. I promise it'll get posted. The system can get a little glitchy. (Rude or spammy comments will be deleted. Fair warning.)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...