Monday, March 21, 2011

Where's yo head at?

Who sang that song?  Hang on lemme check...Basement Jaxx.  Never heard of 'em.  Anyhoo...

If anyone checked in Saturday, you saw I am on week 3 of no weight loss.  The Mr lost 3 lbs (a major rarity for either of us these days) and I'm happy for him.  But I ask, how is it fair that he hasn't tracked the past 2 weeks and lost 4 lbs while I track vigilantly and lose 0?  *shaking head*  Oh I know "men lose faster / better / more efficient than women" but we've both been stuck in the same place for a while but he's pulling out of his slump while I'm still stuck in the muck.  It only makes me want smack him a little.  But seriously, I am happy for him even if it didn't seem that way.  I sobbed uncontrollably for about 30 minutes.  I mean I literally had no control over the tears rolling down my cheeks which is irritating when you're trying to put on makeup.  It soured my attitude for a good portion of the day.  I decided to put the final nail in the coffin by going to my favorite plus size store to confirm I'm still solidly in a 26 and not a 24 like I hoped.  (Remembering I started at a 36 and owned 1 pair of 38's that never really fit but I still wore them a few times)  One pair laughed at me, one pair screamed "give up" and the other said "uh yeah, I'm not even going over your hamhock calves so give it up sister!"  Oddly it didn't do anything to my already pissy attitude, I just wanted to see how far I am from the next size down and they all sang in unison..."far."  I am tired of tweaking, tired of number tracking, tired of the whole thing.  I ate a lot more on our high cal day (or it felt that way, it was nowhere near some of our worst) because I just didn't care.  I was so full that I was full into yesterday morning and didn't eat breakfast.  Haven't done that for a long time and I hate that feeling.  Lots of sodium which by mid-day made my rings impossible to move. 

The trashman is here and I think I just heard the arm of the truck groan when it picked up our trashcan.  We did a lot of work on the bedroom and some in the basement yesterday so our trashcan is more full than it's been since before we started recycling.  We got our bedroom furniture this weekend and are acclimating to the new size of everything.  It takes up slightly more room than our old one and we didn't have a footboard and now we do so there are just things to get used to as you navigate now.  I won't be taking pics until everything has come together.  We went all over town looking for a shelf for the bedroom at antique stores which of course we couldn't find.  I found one on Etsy which should ship today and I'd better have 3 things I bought from a lady there in the next few days.  I'm not real pleased with having to contact her 4 days after paying asking her when she plans on shipping considering I got other things I ordered within 2-3 days. I'm just ready for the bedroom to be done and the stress is showing up on my face.  I look like a before Proactive testimonial.  I rarely get more than one zit at a time but when I can connect the dots, there's a problem.  So I'm hoping if everything comes together this week (including a trip to a big antique mall this coming weekend) will give my hormones a rest and clear my face up. 

So where am I mentally this week?  Well, I'm not happy but I'm not into the self loathing of last week either which means Aunt Flo's impending visit is oddly normalizing my hormones.  So, new plan.  Yep, another one.  I'll be cutting 150-200 calories per day and keeping everything else the same.  Basically cutting out either the peanut butter on my banana or a cereal bar at lunch and halfing my fat free apple dip to 1 tbsp.  I knew there would come a day when those things would need to be reduced or cut out and that day is probably here.  Who knows if it'll do jack crap but it's a start.  If not, we'll then look at cutting back on high cal days or going to an every other weekend format there so pray this works because that'll just put me in a bad mood permanently if I have to cut those out/back.  So that'll be the plan for the next month or so to give the body time to adjust...again.  Next month we'll be throwing hiking into the exercise mix since apparently busting my ass with HIIT, kickboxing and strength training is getting me nowhere.  I don't know if any of this stuff will warrant me any results but obviously what I'm doing isn't warranting any results on the scale or measuring tape.

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7 comments:

  1. I am getting the Just Dance 2 for the WII tonite, hoping that will move some of my pudge as well. You are much further than I am physically so doing your workout would have me on a heap on the floor. I am hoping that after a few weeks of the dancing I can do the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred without screaming what an evil woman she is. You can bust through this plateau and when you do it will be phenomenal. Can't wait to see the blog about it.
    ~cheezchik32

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  2. Hi, Mrs. NATF. I've been following you for a while on Spark and now on this new blog. Never added you as a friend or anything b/c of your "rules" about adding people. Anywho, just thought I'd congratulate you on all your weight loss. I know your current plateau is frustrating, but you will break it eventually. I'm glad to see you mentioned cutting out the peanut butter. It has been my experience that nuts and nut butters always stall my weight loss even if they fit into my calorie range. I also notice this with artificial sweetners. You might try giving those up for a while too and see if it helps. Best of luck to ya! Hang in there!

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  3. Hey! You're hanging in there and that's half the battle.
    Dawn

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  4. Cheryl- You'll have to let me know how you like that workout! We're always looking for fun new ones to add. I hear lots of uh "good" things about 30 Day Shred after the cursing stops. ;-)

    Amber- All natural peanut and almond butter have been a part of my plan from day 1 and that along with sweetners aren't going anywhere. LOL Just cutting back calories where I can and those may be some of the things that go if they're extras but not completely.

    Dawn- That's what I hear. :-)

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  5. Hey momma, I'm sorry about the frustration but like I said totally understandable. Sometimes when I'm at a standstill and super frustrated I try to think at least this is not all for nothing. The things you are doing are at least keeping you healthy and not gaining and that is something. I know its a small something but a silver lining nonetheless.

    I hope the tweaking helps because you deserve having a loss. Sending you lots of good thoughts and hugs!

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  6. Yo! So, I stopped officially tracking everything I ate (since I became a bit neurotic about ratios) and I'm losing as well. I'm trying to eat cleaner and make good choices. I'm not always perfect, but it's been working for me.

    Maybe your stress is stressing your body into retaining water? Maybe you're losing from less obvious places (hello, I seem to remember a certain friend losing weight one time...)?

    Or maybe, you should threaten what I do once a week and get a canular and a vaccuum and take care of the problem yourself.

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  7. Hey there,
    I have been waiting for this blog, because as certain as I felt you didn't used the words lightly when you felt finally broken after weigh-in, I felt just as sure you WOULD rally and tackle it from a different angle.
    I felt your anguish and thought about you a lot over the weekend - you, and crunchy sprouts and vegetables! Of course, what else does one think of? One thinks caring thoughts and idea thoughts. Hey, hey, waddaya know? We both had the same crunchy ideas!!
    I completely agree with you. Start adding those beans/lentils and crunchy stuff to your meals in greater amounts - take that back, HUGE amounts. I am no veggie head at all but I broke down and agreed with myself that I have to load this body with vegetables. Sort of like exercise, there's just no way around it (I bow down to your workouts, btw). I doubled my vegetable intake, cut down on condiments and "healthy but I could use less" type foods, kept the eyeball on sodium and the scale MOVED.
    So total way to go on the reframe, and your willingness to tweek whatever it takes! That's what your fab doctor sees in you and it's reflected right back at us, too.
    (oh, and I vote for today ;)

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